Curse

DavenXion · Jun 09, 2005, 06:36 PM // 18:36

Vengance did you just add boxer shorts to your icon....or am I just slow?

Vengeance · Jun 09, 2005, 06:45 PM // 18:45

Actually ... in another thread I'm trying to make a joke about my mom's green paisley apron ... and now ... as I've tried to show a little better ... you can see a young crazy eyed Vengeance hiding behind his mom ... awwww ... doesn't he look disturbed?

DavenXion · Jun 09, 2005, 06:49 PM // 18:49

More so then usual I'd say. Apron though? I'm still thinking that looks like a raggidy pair of old boxers I had... Have you been going though my trash???

EnDinG · Jun 09, 2005, 07:02 PM // 19:02

I'm in near tears laughing at that picture. ROFLcopter

Swampgirl Inez · Jun 09, 2005, 07:05 PM // 19:05

*Belch*

Oh yeah, that sub was great. Pepperjack cheese and olives were just right.

EnDinG · Jun 09, 2005, 07:06 PM // 19:06

You had better hope I never catch you in game or on an IM missy. *Cries in a cornor...* Now I am in tears! =(

Swampgirl Inez · Jun 09, 2005, 07:07 PM // 19:07

I might have a little left over I can regurgitate for you....

chalt2 · Jun 09, 2005, 07:40 PM // 19:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by EnDinG

You had better hope I never catch you in game or on an IM missy. *Cries in a cornor...* Now I am in tears! =(

*hands EnDinG yet another tissue*

Swampgirl Inez · Jun 09, 2005, 07:47 PM // 19:47

EnDinG... I have a few Subway coupons left. You can cash them in if you want. I'll trade em for a max damage chaos axe.....

DavenXion · Jun 09, 2005, 08:54 PM // 20:54

*ponders swiping the Subway coupons for myself.

No don't want to be the object of Ending appatite. Plus a filing cabnet in a cubicle makes a perfect pantry. Lets see Chees-its, Pop-Tarts, Cookies, more Cookies, Bubblie-Gum. And close to the water cooler ta boot. Its like my own fall out shelter....since I can't see the light of day.

Edit: Avitar added so I don't feel so naked around all you peoples....except for scary eye guy. Dang that freaks me out every time

Arbel · Jun 09, 2005, 09:31 PM // 21:31

Mmmmmm....Italian BMT...

*drool*

Oh, uh, hey guys. What's been going on?

That apron did look like boxers...I was about to steal them, but I'm glad I didn't, I don't want to see your mom naked.

*wonders if I put bad images in Veng's head*

*how about now?*

*now?*

*evil laugh*

Vengeance · Jun 10, 2005, 02:14 AM // 02:14

GAHH!!! Arbel, why you gotta go do that? MAAAAHMM!!!!

Shamblemonkee · Jun 10, 2005, 08:10 AM // 08:10

And this begins another day of work avoidance on the Cubefarm.

*tippy tappy tip tap *clicky click* *alt-tab*

EnDinG · Jun 10, 2005, 10:25 AM // 10:25

I just woke up to start mine... *Yawn.*

Shamblemonkee · Jun 10, 2005, 10:46 AM // 10:46

Well at least it's Friday!

I had a very strange dream the other night. Very strange indeed. The jist of it was that Peter Kay and Tony Christie weren't available to perform the song 'Show me the way to Amarillo' on Top of the Pops. Soooooo... they got someone else to do it:

Enter Terry Wogan in white suit in a white room to sing show me the way to amarillo while doing the Floral Dance. Endure for two versus before waking up.

Help me. I'm sick.

Spirit Firefly · Jun 10, 2005, 10:49 AM // 10:49

The Genius of Peter Kay.

1. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said Thyroid
problem?

2. When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then
realized that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him
to forgive me.

3. I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go
swimming.
> >
4. I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder.... I don't get
on with my real ladder.
> >
5. Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But
one day I turned to my bullies and said - 'Sticks and stones may break my
bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it
was sticks and stones all the way.
> >
6. My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why
he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
> >
7. Sex is like a game of bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you'd
better have a good hand.
> >
8. I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said
'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.'
> >
9. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of
Meat?
> >
10. I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and
give the wrong answers.
> >
11. You know that look women get when they want sex ? Me neither.
> >
Peter Kay's questions...
> >
1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
> >
2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the
core of the earth?
> >
3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
> >
4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your back side?
> >
5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is
stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?
> >
6. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
> >
7. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
centuries' have a 'use by' date?
> >
8. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a Horrible
crisp no one would eat?
> >
9. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
> >
10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll
squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
> >
11. What do people in China call their good plates?
> >
12. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom?
> >
13. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
> >
14. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
> >
15. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over Billion stars
in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint
somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
> >
16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out of the
window?
> >
Peter Kay's Universal Truths
> >
1. Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
> >
2. At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
> >
3. One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when Your
pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronized with a complete stranger.
> >
4. You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
> >
5. Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a
calculator.
> >
6. Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
> >
7. You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a
fire in your back garden.
> >
8. Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
> >
9. You never know where to look when eating a banana.>
> >
10. Rummaging in an overgrow garden will always turn up a bouncy ball...
> >
11. Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
> >
12. The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your
teacher mum or dad.
> >
13. Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half Way
through and then raced against the flush.
> >
14. It's impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
> >
15. You never ever run out of salt.
> >
16. There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got
your hand or head stuck in something.
> >
17. No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
> >
18. Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their
arm broken by a swan.
> >
19. The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an
upturned plug.
> >
20. People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
> >
21. You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood
specifically to stir paint with.
> >
22. Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

Shamblemonkee · Jun 10, 2005, 11:32 AM // 11:32

I like this one too, altho it's not peter kay....

25 things that make you feel like a man
Finally found it - cheers Mikey. Sure there’s one or two more that can be added here…

1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she’s struggling. You take it from her hands, open
it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn’t. Jars are
men’s work.

2, CALLING SOMEONE ‘SON’ - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids
makes you the man.

3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A Stuart Pearce
tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and
crippling the man. Magic.

4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here
love. No, I don’t need a sharpener, you think I can’t whittle.

5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as
you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish -
noisy destruction.

6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on
and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards
the door, saying, “Let’s go” and striding out while everyone else struggles
to catch up with you. God, you’re hard.

7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it’ll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron
burn on the wrist is good. “Ooh, did it hurt”. “Nah”.

9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been partying they
just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness,
sprouting from your face. “Big night?” Grr, what does it look like.

10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to
share the unspoken bond. “We’ve not seen eye to eye in the past”, it says,
“but someone’s got to keep the little scrotes in line”.

11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely
handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.

12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-! Stitch that
becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE… and everyone cheers you. It doesn’t mean
you’re popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However, the rest of
the pub doesn’t know that.

14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently.
Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.

15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying “are you a leg or breast man” to the
blokes and “do you want stuffing” to the women. Congratulations, you are now
your dad.

16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn’t it?

17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms
with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until
then, we’ll make do with the aisles.

18, TAKING OUT £300 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber
(or a ‘quiet one with John Sams)but with that much cash you feel like a
mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds, we get straight
to the point. “alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is then.
Seven.
Doors.”

20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can Schumacher do
that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you
the worlds best driver.

21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the
fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it’s over we can stand there in
silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the
other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if you didn’t make
a fuss. “Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain haemorrhage”.

23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - “a Phillips? For that? Are you mad,
bint?”

24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that’s right,
I’m going in there for a huge, long man-sized shit.

25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C**T - and punching him on the shoulder. Just a
man’s way of saying “you’re a good mate; I missed you while you were in
hospital”.

Vengeance · Jun 10, 2005, 11:58 AM // 11:58

Damn man ... when do you people in Britain get up? I mean ... I haven't even had my first coffee yet and here you are making LISTS!!! What are you ... in another time zone or sumthin? Jeez!

Mornin everyone ... not sure which way today's insanity will take me but I'm glad to see you're all along for the ride ... does everyone have their ticket?

Shamblemonkee · Jun 10, 2005, 12:13 PM // 12:13

Ticket? pffah we're British!
Yup and next to conquer the world through cunning use of flags!!

Omega_2005 · Jun 10, 2005, 12:19 PM // 12:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vengeance

Damn man ... when do you people in Britain get up? I mean ... I haven't even had my first coffee yet and here you are making LISTS!!! What are you ... in another time zone or sumthin? Jeez!

Mornin everyone ... not sure which way today's insanity will take me but I'm glad to see you're all along for the ride ... does everyone have their ticket?

As a matter of fact we do, were 4 or more hours ahead of the time zones in america, so if we suddenly go at about 6PM your time then you'll know why were damn tired them

I think I have a ticket somewhere... MEN Arena, no... %$^$, no..... er ah! I thikn I have the insanity ticket here! ewww... just realised that it come from my...